Today I was really excited.
I finally started the course with Debbie Corso, on Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). The skills revolve on emotion overcoming and management.
I have started a module called Relationship Readiness, that is part of the development of Interpersonal Skills.
I was introduced to a fundamental DBT skills concept: The Three States of Mind. Ideally we all have a wise mind, that arises from adding the emotional mind to the logical mind.
We also covered some of the reasons why some of us are ill-prepared as adults for healthy relationships and how these issues can manifest as troubling issues for us today. We were introduced to the need of practising lots of self-compassion in order to validate our experiences it.
Indeed, interpersonal work starts with improving the relationship we have with ourselves. It is not the first time I am told about it but only now, when I see a lot of warriors that have gone through, I do start to believe in those principles and to accept that it can also be applied to myself. It’s going to take some time to shift my patterns, but I also agree that I have taken a major first step by acknowledging that something isn’t working and starting working on it!
To conclude this introduction to DBT, I want to state what are my goals and what I hope to get after learning it. It’s important to acknowledge where I am starting from and to chart my successes and challenges along the way.
- Getting to know myself by being aware of my emotions
- Understand how my emotions are now driving my thoughts, feeling and actions and tackle them to use them in a positive healthy manner
- Improve my self-confidence and wellbeing
- Assume my new responsibility of being a wife to nurture a relationship based on love, mutual respect, generosity and gentleness
- Learning to accept and acknowledge mistakes, pain, failure and learn from them
- Being able to control myself and to treat people with kindness when something unexpected and out of control happens
- Having a scientific view on mindfulness and incorporate it to all aspects of my daily life
- Being more patient and tolerant
- Use the emotional regulation tools to create also a healthy relationship with food and accept the frustrations from recovery
- Living on the present moment
“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
― Oscar Wilde,